How Discovering ‘Matrescence’ Changed My View of Motherhood
Identity Shifts Every First-Time Pregnant Women Should Know About
Ten years ago, with my first pregnancy, I wasn't ready for what it meant to be a mother. This fear drove me to learn all I could about motherhood and catering to a new baby. I even learned how the brain develops because I wanted to know how to guide this new mind coming into the world through me.
Immediately after I gave birth to the child, however, I was met with less-than-happy feelings. The joy I heard people talk about seemed illusionary. Desperate to find and capture said joy, I scorched the internet for answers. As with most internet-search-based diagnoses, I found Postpartum depression. It had to be it.
I was suffering from postpartum depression that was as a result of birthing a child.
I believed I had postpartum depression and was able to overcome it with some mindfulness practices and growth. I now think differently about the situation.
This post is going to share this new information with first-time expectant mothers. I am intentional about first-timers and will share why in subsequent posts.
Matrescence — The Word That Enlightened Me
During my pregnancy and after I gave birth to my baby, I was confused about the many different feelings that rose in me. A loss of identity often overshadowed my excitement.
I wanted to feel like a normal woman — a normal mother.
At the time, I judged anything outside happiness for my baby as bad. The postpartum depression explained most of it away but I suspected there was something deeper at play.
I could feel a change in not just my body but in my entire being. My first childbirth, birth another part of me — Mother.
Fast forward 9 years after that first birth and I learn the word, Matrescence.
Learning matrescence was a revelation for me. It helped me realize that my struggles were part of the natural process of becoming a mother.
Like adolescence, matrescence describes a developmental transition that is hormonal, physical and emotional. Dr Alexandra Sachs
The Identity Shifts of Matrescence
Matrescence can be as chaotic as adolescence, where every aspect of a woman’s identity is questioned, reshaped, and reborn.
Before I got pregnant, I was a woman who at some point transitioned from girlhood with no conscious awareness of when it happened. I was transitioning to motherhood and did not know how to make the shift. Everything seemed wrong.
The joy of expecting a baby was mingled with fear and anxiety about the future. My expectation to immediately bond with my unborn child and to seamlessly transition into motherhood did not pan out.
I was no longer a girl but now somebody’s mother. The trouble was, I didn’t feel like a mother. I still felt like that girl who was trying to figure life out.
Looking back, I can see the shifts in my identity were normal. Necessary even. They were not signs of failing but of transforming.
Understanding the concept of matrescence will give you a sense of empowerment in motherhood.
The Empowerment of Understanding
Knowledge is power.
Understanding the concept of matrescence will empower you for your motherhood transition.
If I could advise any first-timer pregnant woman, I’d say familiarise yourself with matrescence — think about the adolescence phase when you were leaving the childhood phase. Remember how that phase was? The same thing happens when you enter motherhood.
You are being reborn. Embrace the change with kindness and patience. Self-care is paramount during this time — not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically.
It helps to have a supportive partner, parent, friends and even support groups.
Learning about matrescence now has allowed me to reframe those years of struggle in a different light — not as a period of confusion, despair or postpartum depression, but as a time of profound growth and transformation.
Sharing this knowledge is my way of shining the light on this crucial time in a woman’s life.
By recognizing and talking about matrescence, we can help each other navigate these waters with a little more grace and a lot less fear.
Conclusion
Looking back on my journey, I see now that what I needed most was the understanding that I wasn’t alone and that what I was experiencing was a normal part of becoming a mother.
Matrescence — the emotional, psychological, and physical transformation into motherhood — is a profound shift that we’re only just beginning to talk about.
Let’s continue the conversation and share the concept of matrescence with at least one first-time pregnant woman.
Thank you
