A Vulnerable Mind — How To Know If You Are In A Reliigous Cult
My religious Cult Experience Opened My Eyes To How Powerful and Vulnerable the Mind Is
Introduction
It didn’t help that I grew up with a mother who worshiped Pastors. I was already indoctrinated from my early years to see pastors as the only ones who, in mum’s words, ‘hear from God directly.’
In 2019, I was convinced that I should sue my former pastor for manipulating and controlling me, making me do things that he wanted despite my own desires. My legal mind was at work, considering the possibility of establishing a legal precedent. I thought that if I file a case on emotional manipulation and power dynamics in religious institutions, it could pave the way for other women to sue abusive pastors for emotional manipulation
As we prepared for the case, a woman came forward with rape accusations against the same pastor. I realized it was not the right time to pursue my case, as the media attention was focused on the rape allegations, and I feared my case would be overshadowed.
Six years earlier, in 2013, I had experienced a similar situation when I first disclosed my affair with the pastor. Although some people believed me, others, including those under his influence, accused me of having ulterior motives. My story was dismissed amidst the controversy.
It is in hindsight that I see my vulnerability to my former pastor’s influence. The mid-twenties is an interesting point in a Nigerian girl’s life. Not only had I not figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up, I was told I was already growing up and needed to have a man choose me. Then there was this pastor who had all the answers.
It didn’t help that I grew up with a mother who worshiped Pastors. I was already indoctrinated from my early years to see pastors as the only ones who, in mum’s words, ‘hear from God directly.’ I thought it was hogwash and would roll my proverbial eyes. However, those beliefs stayed within me and formed most of my perception of pastors.
Now, 13 years later, I have gained clarity about those experiences. I understand some of the complexities of the world and the role I played in my own manipulation. Through my writing, I’m now able to address and explore these difficult topics, shedding light on the darker aspects of humanity that continue to affect us all
How can I be in a cult and not know it?
What Is A Cult?
At study.com a cult is a system or group of people who practice excessive devotion to a figure, object, or belief system, typically following a charismatic leader.
Cults are characterized by their intense devotion to a person, idea, or object, and often have a set of beliefs or practices that are considered extreme by mainstream society. They can be religious, focusing on spiritual or divine elements, or non-religious, centred around secular ideologies, self-help principles, or even fanatical interest in an individual or concept.
In this post, my focus is on religious cults, as they are a prevalent type of cult in Nigeria. Over the last few years, I have watched numerous documentaries and investigations into religious cults. The similarities in the mode of control by the leaders and the high levels of atrocities committed by followers across these different groups are striking.
This realization made me feel less isolated in my own experience, one that haunted me for the longest period of my life. Along with the question: how can I be in a cult and not know it?
What Is A Vulnerable Mind
I never considered myself susceptible to cults. I believed I was too astute for mind control. Moreover, I associated cults with groups like the Illuminati, Freemasons, or Bukania, not with the place of worship where we gathered to pray and serve God multiple times a week.
However, a vulnerable mind is not limited to a specific age group, though younger individuals are often more susceptible to manipulation and control. This was highlighted in the BBC documentary on T.B. Joshua’s cult, where young recruits, facing identity crises, sought refuge in religious groups.
Vulnerability in this context refers to a state where an individual’s mind is easily influenced and controlled. Within religious settings, these individuals may be subjected to persuasive or controlling forces aimed at moulding their thoughts, beliefs, and actions, particularly if they lack the habit of critically evaluating the information or influences they encounter
Characteristics Of A Cult
From the documentary ‘Cults, Explained,’ I gleaned three key characteristics of a cult that resonated with my experiences:
- Charismatic Leadership: A cult is often led by a charismatic leader who is authoritarian and demands to be revered as a godlike figure. Having been indoctrinated from a young age to see pastors as almost divine, I found myself easily swayed by such charismatic figures.
- Thought Reform: Cults typically have some form of indoctrination program, marking the start of mind control tactics. I recall attending classes for new church members where we were regaled with stories of the leader’s divine encounters. I, too, yearned for such experiences, not realizing the subtle manipulation at play.
- Exploitation: Cults exploit their followers in various ways, including sexually, financially, or emotionally. The sexual exploitation was particularly confusing for me, as these pastors often publicly condemned the very acts they committed in private. In a future post, I plan to delve into the cognitive dissonance experienced by a vulnerable mind under the influence of a master manipulator.
Why Do We Control Others?
They want to control not just for personal security, but for a sense of power and godliness. They exploit the vulnerability of their followers, convincing them of their own superiority and the followers’ inferiority.
Delving into the research for this article has been a trip. I immersed myself in a myriad of cult documentaries, each time, pondering the same question: ‘Why do these leaders crave control over others?’
This question led me to examine my own reality. I realized that the desire to control isn’t exclusive to religious leaders. We all exhibit controlling tendencies in various aspects of our lives. Why do I attempt to control my children’s behaviour, my partner’s actions, or even my impulses?
Control stems from a deep-seated need for security and certainty. It’s a way to protect ourselves from the unpredictability of life. However, when this need spirals out of control, it can be destructive.
Charismatic leaders, like manipulative religious leaders, often take this desire to the extreme. They want to control not just for personal security, but for a sense of power and godliness. They exploit the vulnerability of their followers, convincing them of their own superiority and the followers’ inferiority. This psychological manipulation helps them dominate and manipulate, creating a cycle of dependency and submission.
But what drives these leaders to such extremes? Is it a quest for power, a deep-rooted insecurity, or a distorted view of their own importance? Their why isn’t all too clear yet but what’s clear is, control is a tool they use to fulfill their own needs, often at the expense of others.
My Religious Cult and Mind Control Experience:
The first time I was invited to meet the pastor of the church, he right away told me we were meant to work together. I was to join the unit he oversaw and create strategies for welcoming new members aka recruiting new minds
In Part 2 of The Cult of T.B. Joshua BBC Documentary (Unmasking Our Father) at 18:44 minutes, I knew what she meant when she said, ‘I said yes sir and like a parrot, exactly what I did for every instruction that he’d given me, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir like a freaking robot, off comes the pyjama bottom.’ In 2013, I tried to comprehend why my former pastor’s demand to “come sit on my lap” elicited a positive response, even though I recognized it as inappropriate. At that moment, I felt I had no alternative but to comply and follow the given instructions.
Jordan Peterson, says that when a memory haunts you for a long time, it may be because you haven’t fully understood or come to terms with the malevolence or evil that it represents. His example is when a child experiences sexual violation, in the hands of someone meant to protect them.
In Nigeria, some religious leaders rape teenagers and children. In 2013, I got a couple of emails about this claim. Mothers give their daughters to be raped by the mighty man of god to help the daughter’s futures. I digress.
The memory of my experience with the religious group haunted me for years. What I really needed was some plausible explanation (and comprehension) of what was going on with me when I was following instructions like a robot.
The first time I was invited to meet the pastor of the church, he right away told me we were meant to work together. I was to join the unit he oversaw and help in creating strategies for welcoming new members aka recruiting new minds
The workers’ training was the indoctrination process. Soon, in my mind, this religious group knew the truth that other people didn't. The pastor heard directly from God and even invited God to church services every Sunday. My role was to attract and maintain new members to the group. As the congregation grew, so too did the pastor’s power and sway over everyone.
Popular Religious Cults and Consequences Of Their Mind Control:
By now, you should know church and cult are interchangeable. This does not mean that all churches are cults and vice versa, it only serves for the flow of this article.
After watching this Cult, Explained documentary, certain events resonated with my experiences. The enduring success of religious cults over the years underscores how little progress has been made in addressing the hidden realities of some of these groups. A few religious cults and their extreme actions stand out
The People’s Temple (1950s-1978): Led by Jim Jones, this cult is infamous for the mass suicide-murder of over 900 members in Jonestown, Guyana, in 1978. When I saw this one, I tried to imagine how far gone the minds of his followers were to the point of killing their children and themselves.
The Children of God/The Family International (1968-present): Founded by David Berg, this cult has faced controversy and allegations of sexual abuse and exploitation. It’s still amazing to me how many religious houses face sexual allegations and still continue to exist and sexually abuse vulnerable minds.
The Unification Church (1954-present): Also known as the Moonies, founded by Sun Myung Moon, this group has been criticized for its mass weddings and alleged brainwashing. I saw those mass weddings and was wowed.
While delving into The T.B. Joshua Cult BBC documentary, I was astonished at how hundreds, even thousands, of people were enduring such ordeals unbeknownst to the world. It brought to mind the numerous psychotic leaders throughout history who have perpetrated abuse in silence, thriving unchecked. Even those aware of the transgressions often remained silent.
Ajoke, my favourite character in The Cult of T. B. Joshua BBC Documentary, refused to be silenced. Her outspokenness led to isolation and physical punishment. A disciple, reflecting on the incident with revulsion, remarked, “…this child could see what we couldn’t see and wouldn’t yield to the lies and was punished for it.”
Ajoke herself was baffled by their silence despite their awareness, a phenomenon social psychologists attribute to our deep-seated desire to belong. This desire is so potent that we may act out of character to maintain our place in a group. For the disciples, the T.B. Joshua cult represented a haven of acceptance. They didn’t see it as a place where they were isolated and manipulated into believing there was no life beyond the group’s confines.
Mind Coming Together
After viewing all three parts of The Cult of T.B Joshua BBC Documentary, I had a conversation with a friend who expressed her reluctance to watch the documentary and her disbelief in the stories. I understood her perspective. There are always individuals who are skeptical and even question the motives behind the testimonies.
When I left my religious cult, I felt isolated and disoriented. Rebuilding my sense of connection and belonging in the world was a long process.
I longed for the day when my former pastor would publicly apologize and affirm that I wasn’t lying.
I hoped for my mother to believe that my story was true and not an act of spite toward the pastor.
I yearned for sympathy, understanding, comfort, and reassurance that everything would be alright.
But everything was not alright, and I can accept that now…
How To Know If You Are in a Cult:
Are You in a Cult?
Here’s How to Tell:
If you find yourself wondering, “Is this a cult?” it’s a red flag worth paying attention to. Recognizing the signs can be tough, especially when you’re deeply entangled in the group. Here are some key indicators to help you assess your situation:
1. Leadership: Is there a charismatic leader who’s seen as infallible and beyond reproach? Does this person demand unwavering loyalty and obedience? For example, if questioning the leader’s decisions is taboo, that is a red flag worth paying attention to.
2. Group Dynamics: Are members discouraged from questioning the group’s beliefs or the leader’s authority? A cult often has a strict hierarchy, with the leader at the top and members expected to follow blindly.
3. Control: How much control does the group have over your life? Are you told how to dress, who to associate with, or how to manage your time and finances? Being pressured to sever ties with family and friends is a major red flag.
4. Isolation: Is the group isolated from society, either physically or ideologically? Are members prevented from accessing external information or perspectives? This isolation can reinforce the group’s control over its members.
5. Exploitation: Are members exploited financially, emotionally, or physically? Are members randomly humiliated? Some of these psychotic pastors will embarrass women in church calling them prostitutes or lustful. Painting a narrative that they exist to tempt men. I attended a service where the lady was made to kneel down to beg the pastor who was humiliating her in front of the congregation. Look for patterns of abuse or manipulation within the group. Ask why silence thrives despite people knowing about the abuse within the group.
6. Personal Freedom: Do you feel free to express your own thoughts and opinions, or are you pressured to conform to the group’s beliefs? A healthy organization respects individuality and allows members to leave without fear of retaliation or consequences.
If you recognize these signs in your group, it is important to approach the situation with self-compassion. Exiting a cult can be a daunting process, but you’re not alone. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.
There are dedicated organizations and resources available to help individuals leave and recover from cultic groups. Remember, taking the first step towards freedom is a brave and important decision for your well-being.
Conclusion
As we conclude this exploration, several key insights emerge, offering guidance to those seeking to escape or avoid the alluring world of religious cults. A recap of the key insights -
- Awareness is Empowerment: Recognizing the characteristics of cults and their mind-control tactics is a strong step in protecting yourself. Knowledge is power, and it arms us with the tools to recognize and resist undue influence.
- Question Everything: Cultivating a habit of critical thinking and questioning everything especially authority can act as a shield against manipulation. Blind faith, especially in charismatic leaders, can lead to exploitation and abuse.
- Vulnerability is Universal: No one is immune to the allure of cults, regardless of their intellect or character strength. Acknowledging our susceptibilities helps us remain vigilant and discerning in our associations.
- Healing is Personal: Recovering from the grip of a cult is an intensely individual journey. While seeking support is beneficial, healing unfolds at its own pace. It will take you as long as it takes you to heal form the effects of religious cults.
- Freedom is a Fundamental Right: The liberty to think, question, and choose is inherent to our humanity. Cults thrive on dominance and uniformity; true empowerment lies in celebrating our uniqueness and independence.
As the world unravels behind the scenes of our most beloved preachers, I can process my experiences and fix the missing pieces in my mind. It’s been 13 long years and last night, watching the 3 Part documentary Series of The T.B Joshua Cult, making sense of the dark world of mind control and writing this post, provided a full circle process for me
I hope as more people come out of the darkness of mind control and emotional manipulation, they do not waste too much energy waiting for others to believe and/or support them. Instead give yourself the compassion, love and trust you need. The dark cloud has shifted and you are gaining good clarity now.
At the beginning of The BBC Documentary on T. B. Joshua Cult, one lady says, ‘No one knowingly joins a cult; it ensnares you, gradually infiltrating your mind.’
I couldn’t have said this better or more succinctly.
If you or someone you know is experiencing ongoing religious abuse, it’s crucial to reach out for help. There are resources and support networks available to assist you in breaking free and starting the healing process. Don’t suffer in silence; take the first step towards reclaiming your freedom and well-being.
Stay safe out there and may the force be with you.
